Welcome, Chardonnay.
It sounds to me like you might need a new sponsor, one who will take you through the steps and be available to help you put them into action. My sponsor has given me step homework to do, and it has been very helpful. I have the BB and the 12&12, but needed guidance as to how to actually "work" the steps.
I'm attaching a link to a Google search I did on 12 step "homework." There are sites that have worksheets, etc. and other suggestions that you might find helpful. I like doing the worksheets because they have helped me to really examine my alcoholism and what the costs have been to me. Many of the questions brought up things I had never realized or thought of before. After doing a few of the worksheets, I realized what everyone at AA says about "working" the steps. It's not enough to just know what they are, you have to put them into action to get the results.
I hope you will find this helpful. I'm not trying to push AA on you, as everyone has their own path to recovery, but if you can use this, I hope you will get some good out of it.
Wishing you all the best!
aa 12 steps workbook - Google Search