I got tired of trying to talk to him, and teach him, about alcohol (which, he already knows all about the chemistry of what alcohol does to the brain and body anyway), so if he was in a binge, I would just leave the house. I went for walks, to bookstores, to the historic district of our town (within walking distance of our place), to the Dominican restaurant down the street, wherever I felt like going. Obviously, I do NOT recommend doing this if you have children with your alcoholic significant other. But it worked for me, so I did it.
And, after a few months of him going to his outpatient program but still finding his way, which included some quacking or what I like to call "funny business"...he actually found recovery. His last binge was over Thanksgiving, and after that, all the funny business stopped. No more "somebody in my group does this or that and I'm not that bad", or feeling sorry for himself. He goes to his outpatient program but doesn't discuss it with me, which he shouldn't, because that's his program, not mine.
The skeptical part of me initially was thinking, "it can't be that easy..." but I guess it is when someone actually finds their own recovery...aside from which, I'm pretty busy enough myself anyway. I am moving forward, with or without him. Right now it is with, because he is sober and content about it, and we work together like a team. If something changes, and he relapses, it might become without. But I'm not worrying about the hypothetical; I have reality to worry about.