'Last night was tough. I came home with the will NOT to drink and what happens? I am an irritable jerk with a little something missing. So I run slam 6-8 shots within an hour and I'm like a completely different person that scared me. Anyone ever had that?'
Decide not to drink and then drink? Sure, did that often for a long time.
You'd think at some point I might have connected the dots, but I was absolutely convinced it wasn't possible for me to actually have an alcohol problem without my permission because...oh, just because I was incredibly special in so many ways.
Just for fun, try it again. It really is a pretty amazing thing.