I didn't read all the posts...but if I am reading your post correctly you have a AXH and a AXBF...as in two separate people...both who have problems with alcohol.
This deeply concerns me.
As a woman who has had a longterm (almost 20 yrs) relationship with an AH and prior to that EVERY bf had addiction issues...well I can see a pattern and it isn't THEM...it's me choosing them that is the problem. Sure addiction is very much a problem for them but that's THEIR issue. My issue is that I keep choosing problem men.
hmmm ...wonder why?
I know why. I was raised by an alcoholic. I became sick myself from their disease.
I have since found Alanon.
Because of that program I know I will never ever be involved with another man with an addiction problem.
How do I know?
very simply because I know as someone just posted...a mistake is only a mistake once, after you do the same thing again...it's a choice. and I'm not choosing that ever again for myself or for my kids.
Do yourself a favor. try Alanon.
Read more of our stories...
don't say 'that won't happen to me' because it will. You've already shown that your predisposed to accepting the unacceptable and engaging in relationships with 'problem' men.
Find your way out...choose better by learning what makes us choose these types of men. Alanon is your answer....it was my salvation!