Look we are told in Alanon not to give advice...but it is okay to share what works for us during the difficult times...
But...
there is something to say for helping someone else avoid all the pain and heartache that comes with loving an A.
This is your bf.
You have no history with this man, no children, no reason to stay.
My A has been in recovery for 18 months after almost 20 yrs of HELL.
I've had to scurry my kids in my car and tell them to lock the doors to rush them to my moms so they didn't have to witness their fathers irrational and pure crazy behavior.
I've had to listen to him scream at THEM...that he's so sorry that they have a crazy C#$% Bi#%^ of a mother.
I've seen him throw plates of food because I didn't answer a question with the response he wanted.
I've stayed up all night worrying about where he was and what he was doing when he didn't come home after work...or at all that night.
I've seen him lie to my face. Bold face lies about whether he had been drinking behind my back.
I've watched him stumble out of bed and **** right there in the middle of the bedroom and then deny he did it in the morning.
I've listened to him struggling to not puke all night long and cried myself to sleep praying he wouldn't suffocate on his own vomit so that I didn't have to wake up w/ him dead next to me.
Do I need to go on?
Really? Do I?
Recovery is a whole new hell.
It's all about him.
What he wants, what he thinks he deserves.
Why think about things like bills and responsibilities? I mean all he should have to think about is his sobriety...according to him anyway.
Should I have left? HELL YES!
And I'm going to tell you to.
Run!
Get the hell out of there now!!!
Sure he's 'sober' now but without a program, any program his chances of success are slim to none.
You can't save him.
But you can save yourself.