AAAARGH
I typed a long response here a few minutes ago and lost everything! Guess thats how these computers work sometimes.
I appreciate everything you have said... I have to remind myself that our relationship is TOXIC and that means its unhealthy for me no matter what. I can still care about him but not let him back into my life. I guess thats what detachment is all about. He is truly the most manipulative and insecure person I have ever met, but on the outside he is charming and witty and totally together. It's easier now that he has moved away, but he is still trying to contact me through "friends" from our old church who don't have a CLUE what our life was like behind closed doors. Time and distance have made our past a bit less raw and painful, but I need the reminders so that I don't lighten up and let him back in.
Thanks for being here. You guys help me more than you can know!!