Thanks, I guess what I meant was I think I was playing victim and that is not healthy for me. I also noticed I wrote tread instead of thread. Recovery is what I gain not what I lose even if what I gain is sometimes painful. I need to remember it's only life, we all get over it. SR is very significant to me, I wish I wasn't insecure about the chat room. I actually talked in group today I thought I was going to have a heart attack.