Originally Posted by
theuncertainty 
I'm so glad you've made an appointment, Nicam.
It's been so hard getting a handle on all the symptoms of my PTSD; I'm certain I couldn't have handled it on my own. I've been seeing a psychiatrist and a counselor. The Psy and I had been trying to fight with insurance about the dosage of my Rx, but had to finally give up and are moving on to start trying another combinations and hope to find something that works as well as, and with as few side effects as, the Rx and dosage that insurance is denying... My counselor is suggesting EMDR, but she'd have to refer me to some one else. I'm not quite ready to talk with some one else about what XAH did.
My counselor has been helping me work through the book "I Can't Get Over It - A Handbook for Survivors" by Aphrodite Matasakis.
My best friend swears by EMDR. I want to try it too!
Thanks for this, it's always helpful to know you're not the only one. Yes, the repressed memories are brutal. I feel like I have no control over my body sometimes, and don't even recognize myself anymore. There's some disassociation that goes along with this, and that's scary.
I've also had a lot of people, including family members who are friends with my abuser, shun me for this. These are people who saw the black eyes, bruises, witnessed the abuse first-hand. Even in the aftermath they still hate and judge me, maybe they are ashamed someone in their family had this happen to them. I think people blame and judge victims because they want to feel as if they are better than them, therefore something like this could never happen to them. It only happens to weak and/or stupid people. They don't understand the control tactics, the cycle, and how it doesn't discriminate.
I hope you find the right combination/dosage of medication soon! It's good you have insurance. When i lost my job I stopped going to therapy because between the therapist, shrink, and Rxs it's like $800 a month! But, like you said it's not something that can be handled alone.
I am going to get that book today!
Hope you feel better and I'm always here if you need to talk. [[[Hugs]]]