i think what would help me is making up my mind about whether he is a good guy beneath the addiction or just a bad guy regardless of the addiction. the "facts" as Anvil put it are leaning toward the latter, but i just am not quite ready to face it just yet.
Or what about a bad guy because of the addiction. I just say this because my AH was a great guy for most of our relationship. He was my best friend and I trusted fully. He is now an addict and unwilling to lay pride aside and see it. So right now, he is not being a good person, and if he doesn't address his issues he may never be again. Truth is, I think my AH is also stuck on who he was. You should hear him describe himself!
Thanks for the support too!