Glad you're back. I'm not sure why some of us need to try it one more time....Thinking that it will be good again. It never is.
Sometimes it does feel as if we are doing EVERYTHING...and it's still not enough. Like someone said above, it's a process...as long as we don't give up, we WILL find the formula that works for us.
For some of us, looking at the BIG repercussions of using is most helpful,losing a job, car, relationship. For others of us remembering the smaller stuff...feeling like bloody **** after using, hating the way our breath or clothes smelled, the jitters or head aches.
Having things to look forward to has helped me. I plan a day trip, or set some money aside for something... if I use, or am hungover wasted, I won't be able to enjoy those things, so it's incentive.
And keep at the step work. I see to have to keep reviewing step 3. I lose trust, stop believing that if I turn things over something good will happen. I'm right smack back there again today.
We aren't beaten if we don't fold our cards.