Glad your back Petewill. It doesn't get any better out there does it?
I've gone back out after some sobriety in the past thinking it would be different. Yea, it's different, it's much worse! At least for me it was.
Doing stuff for others gets me out of my head. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it's more comfortable than being stuck with my thoughts, and it's defenately more comfortable than drinking and using drugs.
Have you started on the steps? That's where recovery is.
You gotta do whatever it takes.
God bless.