because as much as I love him I don't feel bad that he feels sick.
You don't know that you love 'him'. You don't know who 'him' is. You don't feel bad because you are starting to see 'the disease' as it is and are starting to see that it is His Problem not yours.
When he complains, you can do one of several things:
"your problem your consequences." Then change the subject.
"what are you going to do about it?" Then change the subject.
Don't say anything or don't answer change the subject or "have to go, will talk to you later. Bye." Then hang up.
Right now, you really shouldn't be talking to him all that much, he is using you as a diversion so he doesn't have to look at the elephant in the room (his detox).
Stepping back is just that.
What are you doing for you? The book "Co Dependent No More" by Meodie Beattie is recommended a lot and it is available for a very reasonable price on Amazon.
Have you looked into going to some Alanon meetings in your area. Alanon is for you. Alanon will help you to create your own 'boundaries' and stick to them. Try at least 6 different meetings before making up your mind.
And continue to see your therapist as she/he sounds like they are giving you some good advice.
You work on your recovery, step back and allow him the 'dignity' to work on his own. If he chooses to go to rehab after detox, good for him. If he doesn't that gives you a pretty good idea of how serious he is NOT. Now if he chooses to go to rehab to get some tools, rehab is not a cure, just a step toward getting some tools to use in his ongoing recovery. When he is released, please do not allow him to come back to your home. He would be much better off going into a Sober Living House, where he will still have to 'earn' privileges. HE will be required to get a job. He will be living with other sober and clean folks and a house manager also in recovery, as he learns how to use these tools in every day life.
HIS RECOVERY is HIS RESPONSIBILITY. A Sober Living Environment will help him tremendously, if he is serious about finding recovery. If he is not, and is only doing what addicts do to get us off their backs, than nothing will help until he WANTS recovery.
Keep posting. We are walking with you in spirit.
Love and hugs,