Whoh...that's kind of a tough one, isn't it?
Cultural differences can be a touchy thing, even with spouses, I think...
If I were in that position, I would explain to him that there were certain abusive patterns of behavior in my childhood (cleaning obsessiveness, criticism, etc.) that had a damaging effect on me as a child, and that I still react to those ingrained feelings like someone has literally pushed a button.
The reason that I still react to these "triggers" (or some may refer to it as "pushing my buttons", etc.) is that it was literally ingrained in me as a child.
So, as an adult, it's not like we can magically wave a wand and say "oh, I learned this repeatedly throughout my childhood, but I'm just going to hypnotize myself and forget it immediately".
Push this button, and this (fill in the blank) automatically happens in my brain. To me, that's what a trigger is.
It's something that we've learned to fear or loathe, or react to in an unhealthy way, and we react on autopilot without really thinking about how we're reacting, or whether it's reasonable.
And, like everything, of course it takes time for any of us to un-learn those reactions, or to consider how we react before actually doing or saying something defensive/rude/angry, etc.
So maybe he has triggers of his own, but he assumes that his reactions are normal? I've noticed that it does little good to point out to people if I think they have "triggers" or "buttons" that can be pushed and cause them to behave unreasonably...they'll either figure that out for themselves or they won't, I guess.
At any rate, you can tell him that maybe that's the way that things "just are" with his family and accustomed lifestyle, but that things are different for you, and maybe you could work on a compromise of trying to meet in the middle?
I don't know whether or not this is helpful, I hope it is.