Well good afternoon SR friends and family. Late start for me today slept in till 1 in the afternoon. First time I have done that in a real long time. Since being sober that is, cause that was everyday in my drinking days. Stayed up late watching movies last nite, so today will surely fly. But as always waking up sober is such a wonderful thing.
It is said that alcoholics are people whose drinking got them into a "blind alley". For this alcoholic there this couldnt be more true. I was not able to learn from my drinking experiences. I keep the insanity of it up while always making the same mistakes over and over and expecting a different result. Although I didnt refuse to say I was an alcoholic I did refuse to truly admit that I could not live with out it. I constantly tried to handle it , like so many change drinks, tell myself only 6 or the old just one more. I honestly was scared to death to even think of life without this "friend" that is just killing me . I still dont know how it happened but I woke up and said try it , try being sober for once . So I called someone I knew in AA and started this journey. My god doing for me what I could not do for myself, is what I know now happened.
So today I meditated and prayed for that I can continue to get myself out of the way, so the my god's power may flow in. I pray that I may surrender myself daily to that power. Because I know my way just doesnt work.
This complete change in life,living,thinking, and spirituality is not easy , but compared to the last many years its not only easier but so rewarding on a daily basis. When I think a little of it being tough, I remind myself what I would do to get that bottle, and my answer is I would walk over broken glass to it . So then it always sets in the old saying work at sobriety at least half as hard as I did at drinking.
Enjoy your day all, I know I will.
Good love, Inda
