I feel your pain
My dad died last week. Im 28 eldest of 3. I came looking here for something. When I read your original post I was completely floored. It's as if you wrote through me. Everything you wrote would have been exactly what I was/would have almost word for word. The family, how he was before, then now, how he regarded his life as over. It truley resonates with my situation. I'm not sure how this makes me feel however. I think we need to feel special and unique, Especially in hardship. Unfortunately it seems alcoholism is anything but special or unusual.
As I'm writing this I'm not sure I should post I can tell that I'm not going to say anything positive or constructive. But to be honest my brain is a puddle at the moment. A stupid phrase that I remember from holidaying in Laos springs to mind 'Same Same but different' pretty must sums up why I felt I should post. But anyway, I hope it helps you to know your not the only one. If it doesn't I apologise in advance however I doubt you very much care about what I have to say at the moment .
I do however wish you the most sincere feeling that I hope you manage to recover from you loss and, that when do, you go forward in life with a new found zest and belief that there is alot to live for and make best of your obvious intelligence.
Best regards Carl