Lonely Star:
I only wish mine would be in jail right now. At least it would save me from throwing them out. (I still like to take the coward's way out...working on this with a therapist).
I was angry too, then try to calm down so I could concentrate on letting go. When I stumble back into the anger/control game, I read, read, read about addictions and codependency so I can go "derail" my thoughts.
This board has helped me inch my way towards acceptance. It's not 100%, but I've come a long way from thinking I could hold my little family in some safe corner. I now, at least face the fact that I have a severly dysfuctional family unit and I need to be the one to get out. At present, you guys are my family.
I'm so sorry we have to all go through this. The death of my spouse wasn't half as bad as the slow little deaths of my adult children living in addictions with all of it's dysfunctional behaviors,
Prayers are with you,
Hope