Yep, like that.
Bill explained it well.
Like everyone on here, there are certain behaviors that other people can exhibit that immediately "trigger" a reaction from me--fuming silently, making snide comments, or outright being blunt and/or rude, relentless verbal attacks, etc. Those are my reactions to my "triggers".
I don't get myself so much into hot water anymore, at least not legally speaking, but I am still capable of acting out on my triggers/behaviors in ways that make it kind of difficult to explain myself or make amends.
And, it looks crazy to other people who are not ACAs, so that just adds to all the guilt and shame factors already in place.
My mother was totally OCD when it came to cleaning the house. She would constantly berate me for not doing a good enough job, not bothering to put on makeup, not having my room clean enough (what teenager does??).
So now that I have a mother in-law who reminds me of my mom, and makes snide little comments about how my brother in-law's wife doesn't keep her house clean (i.e., "Her idea of clean and my idea of clean are very different"), I feel *extra* pressured to keep my home *extra* clean, especially if she's coming over.
I already feel that pressure, as I have a baby and I want him to live in a safe, sanitary environment, but yeah...just one of the many triggers I get to live with, look at, examine, and hopefully figure out how to deal with.
