Originally Posted by
Peta 
Having made a Big Plan - albeit most likely prematurely ( hadnt read the book but I did do quite a bit of research subsequently online) and now having drunk.. have I screwed up??
Well, you did change your mind about not drinking, but you did succeed at drinking, which is certainly your prerogative. You are free to do what you want to do with your life.
Originally Posted by
Peta My neocortex tells me no that I can make a decision at any time to be a non drinker .. my consciousness decides and only that part of my brain can physcially do anything...
But my beast tells me Yes I have stuffed up and now no return.
The Beast is going to be pull up your "rap sheet" and point out what a big failure you are, but it means nothing. As you said, you can decide at any time to finally knock it off for good, but it is something you will have decide on, since one can really do this for you. What I would recommend is that you make a temporary "big plan" that goes like this:
"I will not drink again until I have read the RR book twice, within the next two weeks."
Then, when you are neither drunk nor hung over, read the book, read these threads, read the other material I sent you, and then read the book again, paying close attention to the exercises the second time around. The AVRT Matrix, Relapse Anxiety Grid, Addiction Diction, Shifting, and Aggressive Listening sections are worth reading closely. At that point, you should have a fairly good understanding of AVRT, and should be able to make a decision. You can also post any questions on here.