when you've done something that is "harmful to yourself", you're the one that is constantly suffering.....no matter with what, trying to control drinking, getting angry and engaging with someone who is disrespectful to you, getting frustrated with your life...
YOU are the one suffering the most. (i was the same way, and one day self-preservation kicked in). I hope you find the strength to pull yourself together enough to stop this cycle...it's not going to get better. "just drinking at night"....can lead to all night long, and spending the day hungover and depressed. you are worth much more than that. BF is disrespecting you, he's not supporting you. You do have the power to change your circumstances......but you have to stick with your decisions.
I really think that any kind of FTF support from anyone you trust would make a big difference in your outlook. BF seems to be isolating you.