Well I found out that short-term disability isn't really the same as medical leave (which basically just guarentees that I won't loose my job over this). But I just wanted to write in here as an update.
I'm still depressed and lethargic, very lethargic. But I'm alive. I see my general doc again Friday which he said by then I should be feeling better, which I am a little better than when I was in his office last (meaning I can form words and thoughts better), but I'm still having a hard time functioning. I can't wait to get some physical and mental energy back. I'm so drained and it feels like I'm never going to get out of this pit of dispair. I haven't even had the energy to keep up with my Al-anon recovery which is very important to me. I went to a meeting the day I got out of the hospital and haven't been to one since. I forget about them...remember only late at night or an hour or two after the meeting has ended. I think I will call an Alanon friend and have her call and remind me about them on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Anyway, I've pretty much just turned my brain off from almost everything except existing...that's all I have the energy to do.
I've been off work for a month and it just kills me that I've been off that long and don't have a single project completed. With this much time off, I would have normally had a bunch of projects finished, but this time...well, nothing at all. Instead of feel good for accomplishing some things I feel quilty for not doing anything at all and feeling lazy since all I really do is sleep and watch t.v.
Severe depression is such a nightmare. I will be glad when it is over. I just wish I knew when that would be.
God Bless,
Jenna