Have to ask for the opinions of the people that I have enjoyed insights from for the last few months.
I have a yearly traditional event coming up. Every year this was a weekend of partying, sparsely interrupted by the intent of the trip.
I have been abstinent since I made my big plan. My partner on this yearly tradition is my closest friend save for my wife. I've been told that there was a bit of unease about the trip, as my friend feared any "triggers" for me. I have reassured him that I will never drink, and I mean it. There is some "recoveryism" floating from him in regards to "powerlessness". There has been sentiment from him about feeling bit of disappointment because he plans to abstain while on the trip for me, even after telling him it is not necessary.
Even though I appreciate the support and love, I feel a tinge of guilt that someone would need to make concessions for "my own good". I feel secure in my abstinence and almost insulted, but I don't know how to express this without opening the door to the tired "denial" that society has drilled into the populace.
I am in no position to tell anyone that they need to consume anything if they choose not to, but there is a bit more to this than just that. I want to just talk to him about this but my fear is that he will view it as denial of a "disease" as that's what everyone seems to think of substance abuse and that will cause even more tension.
I may be making something of nothing, but in this stage of my abstinence I don't need to be babied and want to be trusted by my closest friends and family. I know that recovery in the method I choose is an intensely private thing, but this situation I believe belays that.
The only argument I can see is that I should shut up and live with it because I haven't been abstinent for a period of time that makes my loved ones comfortable. But I have to ask, if not now, when?
