Welcome back viking. I struggle with the guilt of my past too. What I've put my wife and kids through. People I have le down, including myself. I think as alcoholics we beat ourselves up more than anybody else does. There's nothing we can do to change the past. The future is still unknown. All we have is today, so that is where we should focus most of our attention.
One of the positive things that our past can be used for is to help someone else that comes along that is struggling with alcohol. It's incredibly rewarding to be able to do that.
Stay strong, it will only get worse if you keep going.
God bless.