Wow. Your story is amazingly similar to mine and apparently by the posts there's lot of fortyish women out there with good jobs, marriages, families, pets, who like us drank wine nightly until blackout then sleep. Trying to remember the night before. Only to do it all again the next day. A bit less than 30 days sober, i'm already seeing how much time I've wasted in a drunken haze. Oh, the guilt. However, we can not change the past so no point in dwelling on that. The future is up to us. Let's do this!