Validating feelings. . .(even for a 7 yr old)
My sweet sunshine, (our granddaughter) is growing up so much, really doing well in her emotional and mental recovery - but she does have set backs
She had a bad dream last nite about her Aunt on her mom's side of the family ~ she remembered quite a bit about the dream - she relayed the dream to me on the way to work. she talked about how it didn't quite all make sense, (you know like dreams rarely do) how once she was at school, but then it was like a hospital, she went into class, but then it was a hospital room, ~ her aunt was there in a bed and her grandma and everyone was crying. . .
She said she knew something was wrong, but that I brought her there to see her Aunt.
She said "ReeRee i could just feel everybody was sad" and then our little granddaughter just started to cry lots of tears. . .
Part of me wanted to tell her ~ it's just a dream, nothing was going to happen and forget about it; but you can't tell that to someone who's Mom died when she was 4, she already knows horrible things CAN happen ~ and besides that wouldn't that be discounting her feelings and no one wants that right?
So I knelt down and hugged her, I said "I hate that when I have dreams like that! They feel so real to me." She said "Ree, do you have dreams like that?"
Well she doesn't full understand about my past, about the abusive marriage I had before her so I didn't want to go into detail with those nightmares that I still have sometimes - so I told her
" Yes, I have a dream sometimes that I am trapped somewhere and people won't let me get back to you and PawPaw."
She said "why won't they?"
me "I don't know"
She said "we would come get you!!"
I laugh "I know y'all would - I would always make my way back to you & PawPaw too"
so we talked more and decided we would call her Aunt & Grandma this afternoon when I got off work so she could talk to them ~ geez didn't want to call them ar 4:30 am - lol
Thank you recovery, thank you meetings, and thank you SR family for teaching me about validating feelings, so that I can pass it on to this precious little one so she can try to recovery from the emotional blows she has walked thru at such an early age!
Whether it's a dream or real life ~ we all have emotions that probably need to be faced ~ for me processing them in a healthy way keeps me Happy, Joyous and PINKfully free!
PINK HUGS to all,
Rita