Did I learn it? I guess... But then I took it to new heights.
I'm told that my maternal grandmother was an alcoholic with a temper when drinking. My Mom has little-to-no hearing in one ear from being smacked upside the head by her. Grandmother passed away when Mom was little, then Grandfather passed and she was raised in an orphanage. Still... Even though she was very young, I'm sure she learned some placating and people-pleasing issues.
There was no alcoholism or abuse in my parents' marriage or my home life growing up, but I still picked up the little snippets of Mom's codie tendencies and made them my own; embellished and magnified them. I think part of it was that I tried so hard to NOT be Grandmother (to this day, I am still told by her family that I look exactly like her), that I overcompensated. And then I met XAH, who is every bit the abusive alcoholic that Grandmother was, only amplified several levels...
Dear HP, I hope I got away soon enough and am working hard enough on myself that DS doesn't learn it from me, or his father. I don't know what I find more horrifying: the thought that he might grow up to treat women the way his father does, or the thought that he'll learn from me and find some one like Grandmother. Because either way, if the magnification continues....