Oh Plath,
Thank you so much for posting. My mom had a tragic childhood and some tragic parts to her adult life. I can relate to so much of what you wrote. I was not abused as a child. I was not hit or called names or anything like that. She did the best she could and did a lot of good things as a parent. We knew she loved us with all her heart and then some. I love my mother and miss her and don't have any resentment or hard feelings at all. But it was to much sometimes. With the flip of a switch she'd be unreasonably happy and then unbearably upset or unhappy and come unglued. She didn't get mean with us though so I do not have the resentment or feelings like must come from abuse. When I look back now it didn't have much of anything to do with my brother and I but it didn't feel like that at the time. The emotional boundaries were blurred. I can see that now but I find that I parent so similarly. It is so hard to change and I am so ashamed and afraid of my own behavior when I overreact. I do not want that for my kids. I do feel like I am learning. I am paying attention and I am trying every day to do better....and I'm not an alcoholic so I can pay attention. My mom has been gone for many years now so I didn't really know her as an adult. It is hard to reflect but there was some kind of mental health issue going on for her. It is so sad that it was not treated.