Great grandfather was a raving lunatic alcoholic.
Grandparents were teetotallers, parents rarely drank.
But I learned to put my own needs last when my mother spent the first 4 years of my life bedridden. And continued doing that when my sister was born with severe health issues and required much more attention than I did.
I learned from birth on that being quiet and entertaining myself and not bothering adults was "being good." Expressing feelings, especially anger, was "being bad." I also learned, like Spiderman, that "with great power comes great responsibility" or, rather, that because I didn't have health problems or disabilities, it was my responsibility to give, and keep giving, to those who did.
I spent my entire life helping people and putting my own needs last.
I still don't think it's a bad thing to do. But I don't put my own needs last anymore.
There were also lies, lies, and more lies about my next door aunt and uncle who were (and are) alcoholics. And their children, two of whom reacted like normal people do to alcoholics (those were the black sheep) and one of whom was "good" (the codie one).