My codie issues aren't as much about control as survival. With my AF it was very necessary to put his needs first. Failure to do so lead to humiliation, verbal abuse and physical abuse (not as often but often enough that you would flinch if he was mad and moved fast). So I learned at a very early age that my wants and needs were not nearly as important as other peoples. Just like I learned that to have emotions was a bad thing, they simply became tools for manipulation or abuse.
Your friend,