I did that many many times, Inca.
I had to make a decision whether I was going to drink again or not. I chose not - so I committed myself to doing all I could to make that happen.
I had to cease to see drinking as a viable option. I had to take that option off the table - for good.
It is a lot of work - and life can be especially tough when we're used to popping a bottle and not worrying about anything (we conveniently forget about the price we have to pay down the line....)
But the more I stayed sober, the more I deal with life sober, the easier it got, and the better I felt.
Changes happen when we make changes -I grew a heck of a lot in my first 6 months & I had a lot of wonderful things happen - I wouldn't have missed that for the world
You've done 30 days so you know you can do this - maybe you need to think about that you need to change or add to your programme?
D