My AH is also verbally abusive when he's drunk. At first, I use to cry and fight back, not realizing the downsides to fighting with a drunk - we had some pretty hairy fights. Then I realized that if I don't fight back, then he isn't as nasty. So I stopped. But I still get upset about being called a b** and worse. After his last binge, I told him that it is no longer acceptable for him to call me names when he is drunk. They hurt me and I will not tolerate being treated that way. If he decides to drink and calls me hurtful names, then he must move out. Not sure if this is an effective way to handle things, but at least it gives me time away from him to sort out my feelings when he acts so hurtful towards me (I have a hard time hearing those words from the man that pledged to love me for the rest of our lives...).