Welcome Astrosmurf,
I am sorry to hear about your challenges, you might get more support in the friends & family section here:
Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Then again, some addicts may be able to help you with one side of your question too. Its great that you care enough for her & your relationship that you are seeking help.
Take care & all of the best ~ NB