For me, it's when I want one beer, but I don't stop until 6 or more are gone. For me, I stopped drinking liquor because it seriously brought out rage, then I would blackout, then passout.
For me, I drank because it made me feel normal, slow down my thoughts, change my mood.
I am college educated, honors graduate, awesome at my profession. Emotionally, I was immature, shy , self-conscious, always feeling less than everyone. Alcohol changed my self view and my surroundings.
It was never how much or how often. I always looked forward to my drink.
Not sure this helps you. I'm a few days shy of 8 months of continuous sobriety from ALL mind altering substances (alcohol & my love, weed). I'm not angry, shy, nor fearful today. Ok, normal fears, but definitely not the perso. I had been.