Wonderful news, Darren. I'm so glad you've made it 44 days.
I also missed it when I was newly recovering. Then I reminded myself that I only missed the days when I still had control. The early drinking days when it was still fun & manageable. Yet I knew those days were gone for good & could never return. I didn't miss the hell it turned into for me. It's easy to fantasize about how 'wonderful' it was. Try to remember the things that led you to choose sobriety. You're doing great, Darren! Proud of you.