Originally Posted by aeo1313

Since I have no idea what is going on with my life. It seemed like every since last Tuesday and my therapist strongly suggested I look into a recovery program I am worse. I didn't think I was bacd before. Drank 2x/week, took 1-2 hydro a day...now I am taking 5 hydro a day, friends gave me 5 ativans at work, and I did shots of vodka at my waitressing job yesterday. It's like I want to see just how close I can come to the edge before anyone finds out and then get all better. It's crazy thinking. I have children, I'm a teacher, have a great husband. Why am I pushing it?