Originally Posted by
Kialua 
I'm no expert but it might be that you are being extremely loyal -before they deserve it.
You might be confusing loyalty with falling in love. Loyalty to our alcoholic is given whether they deserve it or not. We sometimes think if can work hard enough through our loyalty (physically or emotionally) then they will really love us and not leave us, leave us emotionally, spiritually, or even physically.
Consider trying to back off and not falling in love with someone until they have proven their loyalty to you first. Guard your feelings until you are sure.
I never looked at it this way before, Kialua. This could definitely be it. I know that I am extremely loyal, which means it is both my best and worst trait. It means I am the most reliable and loving friend, but it gets me in trouble with romantic relationships.
I knew that the reason I never had successful relationships with men was because of my relationship with my father, but I was never quite sure why. The unfailing loyalty to my dad was what kept me going. I had to care, I had to love him, I had to stay.
In this last relationship I thought I was doing a pretty good job of reigning myself in and not falling too fast, but it looks like I need to hold back even longer.