BS08

CRandall, I here you and I get it. I just posted my own stuff. It was my mother in my family and my father was the enabler. My father also died when I was 18, so then there was no one to block her behavior and it was a nightmare.

I am starting with a new theraphist this week, but I went to theraphy for almost 2 years with my previous one and the biggest thing I think it helped me do was to release the anger that I had not only at my mother, but at my father as well. I never realized that I was not only angry at him for not protecting me more, but for dying on me and leaving me alone with her. And it was okay to be angry with him. It didn't mean that I didn't love him.

The biggest thing that has helped me in dealing with the anger towards my mother is accepting the fact that she was raised in an alcoholic family and not given the tools to be a good mother. She didn't know how. Once I started seeing her as a wounded soul, someone who has missed out on so much in her life due to her behavior and dysfunction, I was able to let the anger go and just have pity for her. It's a sad life for her, and I'm sorry that she doesn't have the strength to change it.

But boy, am I with ya, and it's just nice to know there are others out there with similar problems. Makes you feel not so alone in the world.

Thanks for sharing.