To me, "tough love" means not letting her drag me down. Not giving her money for anything, even when she says she has no money for food. It means not getting her to her probation officer, not facilitating contact with her daughter, not "rescuing" her. Basically not making it easy for her to avoid responsibility for her situation. I'm just not sure I can do it. I want to have contact with her, but I'm starting to realize that she knows how much I worry about her and tells me how horrible things are so I will bail her out.