Originally Posted by
onlythetruth 
Of course people who were once addicted to alcohol can recover and maintain healthy relationships and marriages. I certainly have (I've been contentedly abstinent for 13 years and have a very strong, happy marriage) and know many others who have done so as well.
Not all of these people are in 12 step programs, by the way. Some are in other programs, some did go to 12 step programs and have left, and some never did ANY program but simply used a combination of therapy, family support and in some instances support from their church community.
The things you have been told by people who claim that alcoholics never get better or are permanently incapable of having good relationships may well be based on the experiences of those people, but keep in mind that a person who only goes to a 12 step program will only see what is there to be seen. They will not see the people who did it a different way, and they assume everyone who left is out there drinking. This is not so.
Wow thank you so much for sharing this with me. It makes things a little more optimistic. I have just been hearing not many success stories. I was holding on to the fact that since his mom and dad were capable of staying happily married through his dad's alcoholism that there would be some chance that it is possible. So its good to hear of others. I want to remain positive and not rule out any possible chance because he is a strong person and is doing well with not drinking. I know people deal with their alcoholism in different ways, and thought the fact the RA in my life went to an intensive long term inpatient program for 10 months may have a better chance for success than just going to AA meetings out of the blue. Thank you for this post.