And helpful friend number 2 pops up again. She's my middle son's girlfriend and her parents are good friends of mine, and she may end up my daughter in law, so I can't tell her to shut it up.
She said, did you see AS's facebook? (she's very shocked at AS and very sympathetic to me). I said no, and she told me a few days ago he'd written: "I have the worst parents in the world." She was shocked anyone would say that about their mother, especially as she likes me and thinks I was a good mother. She was indignant on my behalf.
I'm not hurt, I know he's in a mess and he's blaming me and the father he hasn't seen since 2004. Blaming anything except himself and his substances. Maybe lashing out hoping for a reaction. Maybe sending out public self pity feelers to see if anyone comes to rescue him.
I'm so looking forward to when I only think of him as often as I think of any other extended family member.
I do well, then set back. Nothing dramatic or devastating, just a step or two back, before plodding forward again.