so- baby steps here but feels kind of big.
Just in these past weeks people here and on the MA board (which I finally got to) have all been saying the same thing over and over to me when I rant on and on- they say go to a meeting.
Before this time I have never even considered a meeting- I didn't think it was something pot addicts did. but so many people who I hear are actually in recovery did so through meetings.
so I guess I am on step 2 working to step three- I went to my first online meeting- and finally, I looked up NA local meetings and there is one near my on Monday- so I am going to go!
I am actually really excited and it feels like a big change for me. I hav been trying to quit alone for 10 years and the same thing always happens. and I just blamed myself for being weak or lazy. but now I just see I CANNOT do it alone. I cannot.
So if there is something out there that can help me I am gonna try it.
So Monday is my first meeting- I humble myself, admit I am totally addicted and need help, and step into the circle of help. Maybe this will be thie thing that can make this time different for me!
Still using right now bu I will run out of pot about the same time as by the end of Monday so it may be a good fit.
Here's hoping- wish me luck -