Unfortunately, some Recovery Homes for Alcoholic Women do have 'House Mothers' that are like that and 'rule' by dominating.
If you are that uncomfortable, there is no harm in checking around for other similar homes, as there are quite a few in California. I don't know what you mean by "Northern" California, but I know there are several in San Mateo, and there ae some pretty good ones further south in Los Angeles out in the San Fernando Valley.
It also may be her way of letting the residents see what the 'real' world is like in this day and age.
You will be the one who has to decide whether you can weather this and keep moving forward, or whether another Sober Home might be more suited to you and you more suited to it.
Know that we are alway here for you to vent.
Love and hugs,