Bostonluv,
Your post moved me. Sorry for your unease in the situation. I dont have any experience with sober living houses, but I know about unpleasant people and about anxiety attacks, lol. I find my mind is quite helpful in tough situations, if I can just get on the right track with it.
Congratulations on getting on track with your life,tho! and how lucky that you have are able to get here to SR. I hope you were able to get some rest.
When i have anxiety like that, i find it helpful to force myself to think of anything other than the person causing me to feel that way. like at work, i have to try to put that person out of my mind. not let them "rent space" as they say. but that would be harder in your situation, i would imagine, with all of this being new and you maybe feeling vulnerable right now.
breathing, yoga, medition and prayer helps me. remember, you are there to get you help, to get used to living without drinking. try to learn the valuable lesson in the negative things-there usually is something. sometimes, it is finding my own strength , or making myself become more mature in my responses.
you can look at someone while they are talking, and still control your thoughts. maybe think about your goals, or how what she is saying is important to someone there. i know that gossip is terribly destructive, and could be someones undoing, and i guess it is very important in early recovery, to not be gossiped about. so i can see why she would be so strict about that.
i wish i had more comforting experienced advice, but i just wish you the best. hang in there, get strong. learning to not be blown about by every wind is one of my goals. dont let rude people hurt you, just learn what you can from them, even if it is how to not take things personally if they dont pertain to your actions. big hugs, and keep posting! good luck, too!
chicory.