You know... funny, I talked to a friend today about how when we decide to start a diet, we eat like pigs the day before.
I would definitely recommend Al-Anon. But then again, I don't think there's a human being in the world who couldn't learn important things from Al-Anon. Especially (but not only) when you have alcoholics in your group of friends or family.
As for your friend -- I know when I've had friends go into detox, I've let them.
And when they come out -- I've let them know that I'm still there. And sometimes they've been completely absorbed by recovery and it's sort of petered out; and sometimes they've been filled with spiritual insight and wanted to share everything they've learned; and sometimes, they've headed right back out to the next bar.
I've been available if I felt it was appropriate, but set my boundaries as well. A newly sober alcoholic can be quite the time vampire, and I think the important thing to remember is that you're only responsible for YOU. While I wouldn't buy drinks for a RA, I also remind myself that whether they drink or not is THEIR decision. Nothing you do is going to make the decision FOR them, no matter what they tell you. YOUR job is to make sure YOUR life is where you want it to be.
(I used to work in a field where alcoholism was almost part of the job description, so I've seen a few...)
One of my RA friends always had a bottle of champagne in his fridge. "Because every time I feel like drinking," he said, "I go look at that SOB and remember how much I lost because of it. And then I decide whether it's really worth opening it or not."
Another won't attend events where alcohol is served.
So for all the similarities between As, you never can tell which way they'll lean.
I think most times, all we can do is sit back and wait.
