IAmAbstinent

This is probably the main one I fell prey to in the past.

My particular penchant was buying rare research chemicals online.

As such my excuse would always be 'but it was because of x, y,z chemical , if I try this NEW one ppl are raving about things will be different!'

Yet lo and behold things turned out the same every time.

Not to mention the bad feelings at lowered brain chemicals I would often be terrified I had broken my brain for good as these are largely untested chemicals made only in the last few years specifically to sell.

I would read other ppl's testimonials online attesting of what little side effects these things had. This would usually be my justification to try them. In hindsight putting my wellbeing on the hearsay on some random person on the internet.

That was usually what finally tipped me and made me do those few clicks to buy the next rare chemical online to test.

Thought I'd write it up to 'smoke it out' Trimpey style.

Other's experiences might not be the same specifically but I imagine many can relate to the 'this time it'll be different' voice.

After writing this I am wondering if it's a good idea to 'bring up the past' like this as I think I agree with Trimpey about it feeding the beast. It brought me down a bit while I was typing it- like I shouldn't be giving attention to my past use.

What do others think?

I'm thinking it might be better just to not dwell on these old habits and instead focus on cultivating new ones.