Originally Posted by
FlyerFan 
How long does this usually last? Today is my 6th day sober and last night I had the most gruesome dream I've ever had and it really disturbed me so bad that I couldn't get back to sleep for the rest of the night. (thank god for coffee today!)
And when I saw gruesome I mean it. I dont' want to post the details here because I don't want to upset anyone but lets just say I jumped awake so bad I kicked my poor cat who was fast asleep by my feet and spent the rest of the night crying.
Hi Flyerfan
I'm not much of a poster (but I read the forum almost every night), but after reading your post, I had to chime in.
Nightmares and insomnia was/is a huge problem for me. I would go days without sleep, and when I was able to get a few minutes of sleep, it was not good sleep.
The nightmares were so bad. I know you had said you would not go into detail and I won't either. Other than to say nightmares are very bloody, violent, and gory. If not nightmares, I would have very vivid sexual dreams. I sometimes also wake up scared sh*tless from the nightmares, and last night night I even woke up barking. Yes barking.
I am taking perscribed Ativan at night which has seemed to help. Due to health issues, I also take Vicodin as well as Methadone (not because of any addiction).
In the past 1.5 years I have attempted to get sober on more than one occassion but never got past a week or so. In early December I had the pleasure of detoxing in jail where I spent 5 days. I am now on 1 month and 5 days of being sober.
Sure, I sometimes think of drinking (I was drinking to 2 liters of vodka a day), but when the thought crosses my mind, I think about that 5 days in jail, detoxing with no meds, the coldness, the sweats, the shaking, the anxiety, heart pounding out of my chest, blood pressue out of control, how mean the prison staff was to me (I was treated as if I were Casey Anthony or someone like her), the hurt i've caused, when I think of that, the thought of driking quickly leaves my mind. I let the tape play, listen to the "song" til the end. I've heard that "song" before and the ending is always the same and I don't like it. It's always predictable.
I am done with alcohol for sure this time. How do I know this? Well, I would not hang out with a friend that I do not get along or fought with. Alcohol was a friend that I do not get along with and constantly fought. Why should that friend (alcohol) be any different. There is no difference.
Good Luck
A.M.L