Originally Posted by
Thumper 
I meant you should look forward, not back over your shoulder. To me looking forward doesn't mean erasing the past or fogetting it, it just means that you keep moving one foot in front of the other. There is no life sitting in limbo over what if's and maybe's and hope - waiting for things to go back to the way they were nearly a year ago.
If you are losing yourself over him then that is something to work on. Al-anon may help. Some short term counseling may help. I had a counselor for a short time when my relationship was ending and it helped soooo much.
You realize that for him to 'get himself together' it will take at least a year. Please do not put yourself in that limbo for a year. And that is if he gets it together. Quite honestly, the odds are tough.
Have you read the stickies at the top of this forum? There is a lot of good information there about alcoholism and relationships with alcoholics. I found them very helpful when I first came here.
I already see a psychologist and psychiatrist and am also on meds for anxiety and depression. But have not found the right meds yet. He broke up with me the first week of trying a med that made me even worse than I was. My psychologist however was not much help this week and actually made me feel worse. I'm not even sure what point she was trying to make. I have a bad habit of hanging on to boyfriends I love. (this happened before and I was continuously hurt and played games with for 2 and a half years before I finally gave up) I dont know why I let people treat me like that. I know it will take him a while to get his life together. Although he hasnt drank in 5 months, I know he needs to learn how to cope, deal with stress, and manage his anxiety and depression... and to forgive himself. I will not drop out of school or anything extreme like that for him but I just wish I could have some hope that things may work out in the future between us. It seems like everyone feels the opposite tho. My only hope is from knowing his mom and dad. His dad is a recovering alcoholic and has been with his mom for over 25 years, and he does reasonably well, maintains a relationship with his wife and kids, and holds an excellent job. Thats all I've seen of happy relationships working out with alcoholics altho im sure there are others.
Also I can't find the stickies at the top you are describing?? Where would they be?