I meant you should look forward, not back over your shoulder. To me looking forward doesn't mean erasing the past or fogetting it, it just means that you keep moving one foot in front of the other. There is no life sitting in limbo over what if's and maybe's and hope - waiting for things to go back to the way they were nearly a year ago.
If you are losing yourself over him then that is something to work on. Al-anon may help. Some short term counseling may help. I had a counselor for a short time when my relationship was ending and it helped soooo much.
You realize that for him to 'get himself together' it will take at least a year. Please do not put yourself in that limbo for a year. And that is if he gets it together. Quite honestly, the odds are tough.
Have you read the stickies at the top of this forum? There is a lot of good information there about alcoholism and relationships with alcoholics. I found them very helpful when I first came here.