I can't tell you how many times the meanie in my head called me a loser, weak, stupid, apathetic, and on and on....... All because of alcohol. I still fight! I've fought all my life to save me from me! Why do some of us have a distructive personality? I would think self preservation even when it comes to being healthy would over-ride getting drunk but it doesn't! I always wonder if I'm missing a gene or something!
Don't feel so bad there are so many of us out there like you. We can't all be losers! LOL Just keep coming back and keep trying. I have to say that to myself so many times during the day.