i think i figured something out- i finally feel used up and left in the cold to some extent. i feel ashamed and embarrassed by that. and i am unable to imagine life without this person, i feel that i may just be waiting. and i know part of me is just waiting for another call to hear the story and another part fears there wont be a call and another feels that i shoundnt take the call anyway, then i feel that that is playing a game. but you are all right, the only way to be out is to be out.