My own personal belief is that relapse after relapse after relapse is not recovery.....it is a constant attempt to "manage" the use...."manage" the addiction.
it is not complete surrender.
Until total surrender to NEVER GONNA BE ABLE TO DO DRUGS/ALCOHOL again is firmly in place....and tools and program being worked like their life depends on it (because it surely does).....
Then the cycle that loved ones find themselves in is......the same thing.
Trying to manage the addict. Taking a break when they relapse.
Surrender to your own program of recovery....work it like you wish they would.